Last night, I went to hot yoga after a weird day. I wanted to clear my mind, breathe and just be in the moment. Yoga is so good for that.
At the beginning of all yoga classes, the instructor tells you to set an intention for the class. I am never sure exactly what that means, but usually I just think of one word that will be my purpose and focus for the class. Relax. Freedom. Peace. Hope. Healing. I just go with the first word that enters my mind while I am lying facedown in child’s pose.
Last night, that word was forgiveness. Forgiveness has been on my mind a lot lately. Forgiveness for the people that have let me down, rejected me, or hurt my feelings. Forgiveness for the broken relationships and wounded dark corners of my life.
But as I began to think of forgiving those people in my life, I felt God continue to clarify my thoughts and correct me.
“Not forgiveness for them. Forgiveness for you.“
So I lay there in the hot room, facedown on my mat, and began to forgive myself.
I forgive you for letting others down.
I forgive you for not being able to fix that relationship.
I forgive you for not reaching out to your sister more.
I forgive you for not being perfect.
I forgive you for being ungrateful, irrational and emotional.
I forgive you for not keeping up with the housework.
I forgive you for letting your car go 1,300 miles over for an oil change.
I forgive you for the disaster that you call a purse (and I realize that keeping a clean purse is an impossibility for you).
I forgive you for the mistake you made at work last week.
I forgive you for breaking plans because you were too tired.
And for everything else that you beat yourself up for daily, I forgive you.
What a gift that God took my thoughts—my well-intended thoughts of forgiveness for others—and unexpectedly turned them toward myself, offering grace and freedom to me. So often we strive to extend grace to others, work to mend relationships, and beat ourselves up in the same breath.
Spend some time extending grace to you today.
What things do you need to forgive yourself for?